I’m sure many of you have noticed that once you have children your friends tend to change. Sure, you definitely keep some, usually those who intend to have kids in their near future. But a lot of times your single, non-parent friends seem to disappear. Why is that? I’m sure we all know why really, when I didn’t have kids the last thing I wanted to talk about was feeding habits, pooping habits, and whether or not someone was cutting a tooth. I couldn’t relate at all.
When it came to be my turn to have my friends change I was very understanding. At least as understanding as possible while only getting two hours of sleep at a time and adjusting to parenthood. Looking back I am glad that my friends changed. Before kids my friends (and I) had habits and behaviors that would make me nuts if my kids picked up on them. It really wasn’t my friends who changed, but me.
Thinking about this natural friend progression led me to think about the people we hang around now (who do have kids), and how important it is to be choosy with them too. Children pick up every behavior you don’t like (or so it seems). If you spend some time with a parent who is okay saying certain words in front of their kids that you aren’t saying front of yours, your kids will start saying them immediately. Undisciplined kids begin to show your kids all the naughtiness they can get into. You only get to choose your children’s friends for a few years. Once they are school aged they make these decisions on their own, so you might as well be choosy while you can. Surround them with people of like mind to save your own.
-Stephanie Wright