Bossy children really drive me nuts.  Bossy, demanding, and all around annoying.  At least that’s my opinion.  I had to stop and think about why kids tend to go through this phase.  They all do.  At least I have not met a child who hasn’t gone through the bossy phase. 

I understand that all children want to express their independence, but why this way?  Then I got to thinking, thinking like a child and what they see and hear all day.  It makes perfect sense.  For a young child, all you hear all day is constant instruction.  I’m not suggesting that all parents are dictators; even in the nicest way and instruction is just that a form of being told what to do.  How can we as parents help to make this easier for our kids?  I don’t have all the answers here, because sometimes kids need to be told what to do.  It’s a fact of life. 

I do try to ask my kids their opinions on what we do each day as much as possible.  I hope by doing so that I don’t come across as steam rolling their ideas and desires.  When appropriate, I allow them to choose what we eat, for example.  Or what we do with our day.  But even if they want to do something that I will for sure not allow, the act of considering the idea helps the kids feel important.  We can talk about why we chose to do or not to do an activity and I can just hope that my kids learn that other people have ideas that might be better than theirs.  If they realize this, perhaps, just perhaps, they will take the time to ask other’s opinions about what they want to do instead of just instruct! 

-Stephanie Wright