kidsParenting can get really frustrating and as a result, very ugly too. If you have an obstinate child, you can easily lose sight of all the positive qualities that he also has inside. Instead, you just notice the negligence of application to rules, the inability to stop hitting his sister, and the lack of dedication to school. When annoyances pile up, your patience wears more thinly, letting the slightest misstep become a giant deal in your eyes. The child ends up spending a lot of his time in time-out, and you don’t even want to deal with it anymore.

Unfortunately, this pattern happens more often than we like to admit. The frustrations of raising a child often peer out more in our memory than the good times. And while it is something we try not to discuss often, it needs to be talked about- this kind of harsh judgment on children can negatively affect them.

Instead, try to point out at least five positive things your child does a day. Reinforce them by pointing it out how glad you are that he listened or followed instructions or played nicely with his sister, and write them down too. Before you go to bed, review the list to remind yourself how lucky you are to have a child with these positive qualities or actions. By repeating this pattern everyday, you will quickly see that your child is just like all the other ones out there- full of positive and negative qualities that balance out. Harping on him won’t make him a better person when he grows up, but encouraging positive growth will! Try this out!

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