vampire teeth
It’s that time of year again, when pumpkins are carved, excess chocolate and candy are eaten, and Halloween costumes are chosen. And deciding what to wear is no joke. It’s serious business, people. The National Retail Federation’s (NRF) 2014 Halloween consumer spending survey revealed 75 million adults will dress up this year, and Americans are expected to spend $2.8 billion dollars on costumes. That’s a lot of fake blood, polyester, and wigs, among other common Halloween costume accoutrements. But, according to the study, most will stick to traditional options: witch (4.8 million), animal (2.6 million), Batman character (2 million), and pirate (1.8 million). How boooring. We can do better than that.

Although “traditional” is safe and appreciated, don’t you want a costume that’s all your own? Of course, to show off your creativity, but also to ensure you won’t see any replicas of your inventive costume. If you’re completely stumped and need a good healthy brainstorm, here are five ideas that will surely make your costume stand out on this year’s scariest night.

A Butt
So far, it seems to be “The Year of The Butt.” From Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” (the re-mastered version of Sir Mix-A-Lot’s butt classic, toBeyoncĂ©’s butt dance at the VMAs, to J.Lo’s provocative video of her latest track “Booty,” there’s enough butt for everyone! And this makes for some creative costume ideas. Enhance your own with some padding or dress as one of the aforementioned divas and channel their gifted behinds. However you roll it out, your pop-culture reference attire will be bumpin’.

North West
No, not the direction, but rather the spawn of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West: The hottest baby since, well, arguably the hottest baby. Who doesn’t want to dress up like an adult-sized baby millionaire? Find a stroller, a pacifier, or a diaper, spray it gold, add some rhinestones, and be the swankiest baby for the night. And if people are confused, just start rapping “Gold Digger.”

Joan Rivers
If you’re feeling nostalgic over the loss of the comedian legend, she’d be a fun and easy costume to pull off. Get a blonde wig, big shades, maybe a fur coat (faux, of course) and use your best raspy voice and caustic tongue. If you’re looking to meet someone, use her catch-phrase in your best New York accent, “Can we talk?” And as an added perk, you can be “The Fashion Police” wherever the festivities may take you. If you offend someone, you get a free pass. Just say, “Relax, it’s part of the costume.”

Ebola Health Worker or ISIS Member
These two would fall under what NOT to dress as for Halloween. Although drawing some controversy from a costume is fun, this year steer clear of wearing a Hazmat suit or dressing like a terrorist carrying a sword. There are plenty of other ways to be clever without offending others. How about a Freudian Slip? Take the usual-suspect Freudian terms like psychoanalysis, defense mechanism, ego, and Oedipal complex, tape them to your sassiest slip, and you’re done. If you’re going to a party, this costume will make for a good conversation starter and a chance to practice your best armchair psychology. You might even get someone on your couch later for some one-on-one therapy time.

“Sexy” Anything
The “sexy” costume on Halloween is like Buffalo wings at a football party — they’re always there and they’re usually very messy. And it’s understandable why so many women go as the “sexy” anything. It’s easy and it can be applied to, well, anything; the sexy cat, the sexy nurse, the sexy teacher, the sexy mailman. Even the sexy garbage lady can be sexy. And same rule applies to “vampire.” Buy some fake blood and fake teeth, and be a “vampire” anything. So go ahead, sexy-up or vampire-out whatever noun suits you.

By: Betsy Farber

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