Now that school is starting, it is inevitable. The kids are going to come home with one nasty bug or another. This year, we got hit with a stomach virus. And even though we have done everything in our power to avoid it, we have gotten it. No one likes a stomach virus, it could actually be one of the worst things as far as I am concerned. Okay, so it’s not the worst, but man, I run when I hear the sound of a kid vomiting. Someone once told me, that they wish they could make their alarm sound like one of their kids preparing to vomit. Truly, nothing will make a parent move faster than that sound. All joking aside, it can be quite difficult to clean up the mess and we all know that not all kids make it to the bathroom. Most little kids don’t actually understand what is happening to them. How do you explain that your insides are about the wretch themselves back out? This is just one of the many rites of parenthood. But lucky for you, I have a fail proof cleaning method for this unfortunate eventuality. I don’t know about you, but I have to get it cleaned up really well. Any residual vomit like smells can make me gag.

In my emergency clean up kit, I keep a special dustpan. I use the dust pan to pick up any chunks. (sorry for the graphic!) Dump the gunk in the toilet and flush ASAP. The dustpan is dishwasher safe, so I know I can get it clean again. Also in my kit are white towels, and club soda. I dump the club soda on the infected area, and let it bubble for a minute. That’s probably not necessary, but it makes me feel better. Then I use my white towels to blot up the liquid. I keep going, and using fresh towels until its all up.

Now you bring in grandmas “Unpuke” mixture. This stuff will get up any staining, and most importantly to me, any smell. She used two cups of salt water mixed with 3/4 cup of warmed white vinegar and one to two squirts of dish soap. The you pour it on just like the club soda, and blot it again just as before. Do this until it’s all clean. Yay! My final step, while the carpet is still damp, liberally coat with baking soda. The baking soda will eliminate any smells that won’t go away. And it makes me feel better. I let that dry overnight, then vacuum it up. Then I go and pray I don’t have to do it again.

-Stephanie Wright