My mother is the sweetest mother I could ask for. She is very kind, caring and generous. She would do anything for anyone if she could. Lately my teenage daughter has picked up on this and is taking it to the extreme. It started about a year ago, she would ask my mother for things and she would most likely end up with whatever it was she asked for– whether it be a ride somewhere or a new outfit. It was only happening occasionally and it was never a big deal at the time because grandparents always want to do nice things for their grandchildren and I just took it as that.
Recently my daughter has just done it way too much and I feel like she is taking advantage of my mother. I had to put my foot down. Kalli would ask me for something at the perfect time when I was juggling the twins, their homework and cooking dinner, I would always respond with something along the lines of, “can we talk about this later, I’m not sure right now.” This was when she would go into another room and make a special phone call and ask grandma for whatever it was that I couldn’t do at the moment. Occasionally my mother would just show up at my house to pick her up or deliver whatever it was she was requesting and I would have no clue what was going on.
I realized what she was doing, she knew grandma would never say not to her (depending on the circumstances) so she would almost bypass me and head straight to the top. Not cool. I immediately put a stop to this and told my mom that I appreciate her kindness so very much but the next time Kalli calls her for something to let me know, and she has also picked up on what is going on and she has told Kalli to make sure she checks with her mom first. So now we have handled her little manipulating ways and we consult with each other anytime my mother is approached with something from my daughter, Kalli has learned we are aware of what is going on and from me advising her that this behavior is not OK or acceptable.